A blended family is something that I wish could happen for my boys. When it comes in terms of their father and their new stepmother. I see many of my friends who have been divorced, remarried, and have taken the time to build relationships with their other has and their spouses/girlfriends. This is something that I have wanted for sometime. I have offered to my ex that we meet with another couple that has done this. Someone he in fact knows.
However, I still have not been successful. Doesn't mean I'm going to quit trying. But I just haven't been successful yet. You end up with days like today, where I get a text message that says don't talk to her. Just sit down and basically ignore her. Which, for those of you who know me, is very difficult. I don't want to come across as "that ex".
It is taken me three years to have the relationship with my ex that I have now. While it is still difficult, because of his inappropriateness, I muddle through make the right choices, and do what is best for my children. I have moved past the infidelities, and the past. And I want no part of that has to affect my children. Clearly because we're divorced, I have moved on.
So days like today, are very difficult. Because I feel like I was cold, and not friendly to the person who cares and I'm sure loves my children. But out of respect for the ex and his request. I abide.
But at the end of the day, it just doesn't feel right. So going forward I'm no longer going to abide by his requests I don't think. I'm going to be who I am. Which is a nice person. She clearly cares for my children. As was evident when Jackson was highly disappointed in getting fourth place. While I consoled him. It was still difficult for him. And before we were leaving to change his clothes, she asked him to come over and she wanted to do the same. Well in that moment I was frustrated, because I am his mother. Stepping back, and sitting here now I realize she is only trying to build a better relationship with my son. And I should not have been crabby about it in my own mind.
If I had the open blended family relationship I still hope for. This would not even be a question. My kids would see me sitting by her, conversing, and building a relationship. (because keep in mind, I know she is a good person and I would love to get to know her further) Instead they see a mother who sits in the back and ignores her. Going forward this is not going to happen. I have invested too much time in myself and changing myself in the past three years and more importantly the past 10 days that I will not allow it any further.
If anybody reads my blog at all, I would appreciate a post or comment of how you think I can get this to be successful. How I can address it with the ex. Or how I go over the ex and address it with his wife. Or do I just leave it alone. I would greatly appreciate input.
Mr, Baker giving encouraging words in the face of his disappointment.
The boys and their stepbrothers. Clearly they love each other! Which I feel very fortunate about!
My boys with their mama! I love them more than the world itself!
PS. Hot Dam I look good! LOL
